Will the Real Dad Please Stand Up?

One day a couple of angels were out walking the Time Line.  (Hey, it’s my blog — just go with it, okay?)  As angels usually do not need to worry about physical exercise, they were just taking a leisurely stroll, keeping their eyes peeled for any treasures they might find along the way.

As they were ambling through the Fifties, they spotted a canister containing film.  Ingrigued, they picked it up to take back to The Cloud for viewing later that evening.  Walking a bit further, lo and behold, they saw something shiny in the grass.  You guessed it — a disc from the Twenty-first Century.  Wow!  This was their lucky day!

After ordering pizza, the two decided to rummage through their stash of vintage collectibles in order to find the devices they needed to watch their newly acquired entertainment.  There it was — the box containing that old projector and screen their buddies had told them they would never find a use for.   Where was that other thing, though?  That small metal box with the slit in front?  Ah, there it was, sitting on the shelf with that monstrous big screen that took up half the wall.  They were ready.

First, they broke out the film from the Fifties.  They were amused as they watched all the episodes of family life where fathers breezed in late in the afternoon, gave the meticulously dressed “little woman” a kiss, left her in the kitchen to finish dinner, and retired to the living room to read the newspaper and dispense wisdom.  Laughingly, they remarked on the ability these TV Dads had to solve any problem within the relatively brief span of thirty minutes (less cigarette commercials).

Growing bored with the predictability of these shows (and annoyed with the ads, which were way too loud), they popped in the shiny disc from the later era.  They were eager to see how things might have changed.  Oh my, nothing could have prepared them for what they saw.  None of these fathers seemed to have a clue!  Deceptive, bungling, stammering idiots!  Or there were two of them . . . or old guys married to Latin bombshells . . . or dudes who can barely take care of themselves, much less their children.  From these shows it appeared that men had “checked their brains at the door” and no one but moms “knew best.”

The angels were perplexed.  Just then (as blog luck would have it), there was a knock at the door.  Their buddy needed a place to chill, as his roommate was having people over, and the pad was a bit crowded and noisy.  He saw what they were watching and understood their confusion.  He himself had picked up some of the same stuff from the Time Line.  He told them to wait just a minute, he would be right back.

Returning with his computer, he went to “Google Earth.”  He told them to watch closely as he zoomed in on a few of his favorite places.  First, he showed them the soccer field where Dad was cheering on his son.  Next, he let them spy as Daddy was smiling while his little girl took an elephant ride at the zoo.   Then, as he continued, there were too many to count:  the Boy Scout Leader, the Sunday School Teacher, the Little League Coach.  On and on he went, showing them millions of fathers who get up every day, go to work, and earn an honest living to support their families.  They change diapers, take out the trash, and mow the lawn.  They check the oil, take sick kids to the doctor, fix toilets, and sometimes run the vacuum cleaner.  They prefer fast-moving action movies, yet they can sit perfectly still through nine (or more) innings of baseball.  They, for the most part, do not solve family problems within a thirty-minute time frame; however, they, for the most part, are not bungling idiots either.  They are dependable, reliable, and caring.  They are doing the best they can to be stand-up guys.  They are real-life dads. 

He said, “There you have it — not very dramatic or funny or even very interesting, is it?  Ratings are not through the roof on this stuff, as you can probably tell.  I just wanted to let you see an alternative.”

“Where can we see this program?”  the angels asked.

“The Real World, thank God!”

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