After months of undercover operations, officials have finally rounded up dozens of members of the gang known as Emoticons in a sting operation just before dawn.
Apparently, the one called “Angel” became concerned about the insidious, evil behavior of her former friend “Devil” and decided to cooperate with law enforcement. Wearing a wire, she bravely recorded the conversation in last night’s planning meeting.
Devil and his cohorts, Worried, Sick, Nail-biting, and TV, were heard plotting to disrupt the days of hundreds of unsuspecting citizens. In the weapons discussion, they decided to use the tried and true: Fear, Disease, Anxiety and Distraction. These had proven invaluable in past attacks; there was no reason to believe they would not provide the needed ammunition for the day ahead.
When the SWAT team swooped in, Surprise was completely stunned, It Wasn’t Me fled, and Sad began to cry. Happy decided to turn state’s evidence, Yawn was too tired to resist, and Winking cut a deal.
It is believed that the prosecution has enough evidence to put these con-men away for life, as hundreds of witnesses are expected to testify that they have been robbed, crippled, and deceived by members of this gang. Even those who have not been injured are willing to testify that they have been conned into making decisions based on emotion rather than reason and have suffered the consequences.
The entire gang is being held without bail. It is expected that the state may have enough counts against the most dangerous one, Devil, to convince the Judge to put him away for a long, long time —- maybe a thousand years.
Perhaps then we could have that world peace everyone wishes for.