I took a wrong turn yesterday and ended up on What If Road.
In spite of the fact that I had made this exact same mistake before, I found myself lost again. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my GPS, so I was on my own. That’s never good.
My Driving Instructor has repeatedly encouraged me to travel only on the main road because He knows my sense of direction is so bad. East and west, north and south — those are meaningless to me. Sometimes I can discern direction by looking toward the Sun, but if it happens to be a cloudy day, I’m done for.
What makes it worse is that sometimes the highway signs have been turned sideways by pranksters or knocked completely over by vandals. And sometimes the route numbers are so similar that it’s confusing. My favorite is the one that claims to be north when it is so clearly facing the rising sun!
So, obviously, it is understandable that a person would become disoriented, even if she had studied Mapquest that morning. Isn’t it? But I digress. It is so easy to get side-tracked.
In my defense, I make every attempt to stay on the main road, but sometimes there is a detour sign or an obstacle in my lane. When this happens, it throws me off. Detours can be mazes that lead to a bad part of town. And those roadblocks — so frustrating! Finding a way around them is harrowing and frightening. Sometimes the road itself has caved in and there are no directions to be seen.
Those things happen, but yesterday I simply got distracted and found myself on that side road called What If. I don’t know why I didn’t turn around immediately. I really have no excuse for continuing on until I was so entangled in twists and turns among all those dirt lanes and pig trails that finally I became terrified.
When panic seized me, I stopped and decided to look for a map in the glove compartment. Yes — there it was!
However, as I studied the markings, I wondered, “Where are all these side roads and dirt trails and pig paths? I can’t find a single one of them on this map. It’s as if they don’t even exist!”
“Why am I alone anyway?” I asked myself. “Where is my Instructor?”
It occurred to me that I must have left Him behind when I turned off that main road. What was the name of that road? If I could remember, maybe I could get back there. I would just have to retrace my steps before darkness descended.
“Oh yes, now I remember!” I shouted to the menacing shadows. “The name of the main road — it’s called TODAY!”