Mourning of the Tenth Day

Warning:  Uncensored, unfiltered feelings ahead.  Read at your own risk.   Is a Christian any different from anyone else when feeling helpless, hapless, over the edge?  I think not.  It has always bothered me that “Christian” has evolved into a genre rather than simply being what it started out as.  Follower of Christ.  Believer.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  It is a noun rather than an adjective.  It names a person.  How can it describe a lifestyle or music or writing?  Aren’t we all human?  When it comes to feelings, aren’t we all the same?  Forgive me.  I am going through a dark part of the forest.  But thankfully, Christ is leading.  I will get to the clearing, with God’s help.  Bear with me.  The zig-zag journey sometimes takes us where we do not want to go.

This morning

i just want to say

F—- you death, disease, pain, and a whole bunch of other things I have no control over

i just want to cry

today

the tenth day of Sad

since i

watched a loved one breathe his last

goodbye

since i

watched the one who adored him

weeping beside his bed

in pain

lost

But what is this?

A memory . . .

something worse . . .

Life that is not living

at all

So . . . with a soft, quivery voice

My heart whispers:

God is Love.

God is Mercy.

God is Peace.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” 

God bless you all, dear readers!  Thank you for journeying with me.

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About Jan Hamlett

Exploring faith outside the safety of Sunday
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3 Responses to Mourning of the Tenth Day

  1. cclody says:

    My prayers go out to you in your time of sadness. “Christian” isn’t so much who you are but whose…and greatly loved. Thank you for helping us focus on that great love. His Peace, Chris

  2. Jan Hamlett says:

    Well, looking at this a few days later, I feel pretty self-indulgent. Thanks for understanding.

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