Last night I flipped on the tv a few minutes before nine in order to catch the opening scene of Castle. (Also, I knew I would be privy to the drama of the rose ceremony on The Bachelor. I don’t watch the entire show, just the last few tearful moments of heartbreak for one unlucky lady.) As always, Rejected Bachelorette Number Whatever was escorted to the waiting limo and wrenched away from the arms of the man who was ever so reluctantly “letting her go.” (He would immediately return to the others and have a glass of champagne, where he would lift his glass and smile in anticipation of three overnight dates with the remaining hopefuls.)
As always, the cast-off was interviewed in the limo as she made her way back into the actual reality of her life. This one was twenty-six years old. She truly believed that the bachelor was making a huge mistake. She just didn’t know what was to become of her at this point. She was questioning what life would now hold for her. She said through her tears that all she wants (all she ever wanted, really) is to “make someone happy.”
Personally, I think she needs to get a new goal. One person cannot “make” another person happy, whether that person is a parent, a child, or a spouse. All those songs about “make someone happy . . . make just one someone happy” and “you’ve made me so very happy” just foster this narcissistic nonsense. I wonder if, actually, what she is looking for is someone to make her happy.
I hope this beautiful young woman soon realizes that, in any relationship, she can bring moments of cheer or days of pleasantness or seasons of comfort. But she cannot create a cushion of happiness around another person. There will always be a leak, and she won’t always have the time or energy or resources to plug it. And she cannot allow herself to feel responsible. Nor should she hold others accountable for her own happiness. It comes from within.
So, as the song says, “Make someone happy. Make just one someone happy.”
“Blessed (happy) is he . . . whose hope is in God” (Psalm 146:5).